No Sleep on Days
by slack-jawed cheese hugger
Summary: Everyone’s tired today, but not for the same reasons. Pein may have had to fight some burly idiot, but Deidara didn’t get any sleep, and it’s getting to him. Zetsu, on the other hand, is actually complacent. Gasp! Get a medic! Some OOCness, crack
1. Remembering

A far cry from a hotel, the building looked ancient and almost haunted No Sleep Day

_Insert generic disclaimer here._

Summary: Everyone's tired today, but not for the same reasons. Pein may have had to fight some burly idiot, but Deidara didn't get any sleep, and it's getting to him. Zetsu, on the other hand, is actually complacent. Gasp! Get a medic!

**Zetsu-Yin, **Zetsu-Yang.

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A far cry from a hotel, the building looked ancient and almost haunted. However, it wasn't really like they had any choice at all in the matter; Pein was standing right behind them, and he needed coffee. His five-o'-clock shadow had become 36-hour shadow, and besides needing a shave, he was smelly. Deidara wrinkled his nose delicately. He had no idea why he was even there- Hidan had insisted upon dragging him along, screeching about something he didn't quite catch, being half-deafened by said yelling in the first place, so he had agreed and stumbled off to find earplugs.

And now there they were, with a half-dead Leader, a whiney bitch for a hostage, Hidan, Deidara, and Zetsu. For once, there was no conflict between his sides; both were too tired to argue at all, and Tobi had elected out of joining them. The explosionist sighed and grumbled softly to himself, drawing Zetsu's attention, who proceeded to ruffle his hair. Okay, now he was awake.

"What the—"

"**It's okay, Deidara**. Just quit complaining, all right?"

He sighed, hunching his shoulders, and hefted the prisoner further up on his shoulder, whacking her hard on the back of the head to knock her out and shut her up. The stupid bratty Ice-village princess was immediately quiet. Well, for about two and a half seconds, at which point she started snoring. _That wasn't much of an improvement._ For once, he admitted to himself that having Sasori there would be nice. He recalled their last conversation as the group trudged wearily towards the dusty old shack.

"_Sasori."_

_He had turned, slightly annoyed. "What now, huh? I was just going to go to bed."_

_Deidara cleared his throat, scuffing with his shoe at the dirt like a schoolchild. "What you said, earlier, about it not mattering, I was just wondering if…"_

_The redhead was smiling, genuinely smiling. Now _that_ was new. "If I was angry about it?" Deidara nodded, flushing slightly, a gesture the puppet master did not miss despite the hair covering half his face. "No, I'm not mad. I was just surprised, to tell the truth…" He grinned, baring a few teeth, and leaned forward until his face was only a few inches from his colleague's. "You're not a half-bad kisser, actually."_

_Deidara looked up, eyes narrowed just so in suspicion. _

_Sasori's primal grin faded into a tired smile, and he leaned his head to the side just enough to miss the other's, until his lips were at his ear. Although he had vocal cords, his breath was not warm, as he only used air to speak (and to breathe, but mostly out of habit), and Deidara relaxed, not having been sure if the body heat would be unbearable, his pride safe. Sasori, on the other hand, was nervous as hell. _

"_I--" his voice cracked slightly, and he cursed inwardly- "-- I suppose I would make a fairly decent life partner." He pulled Deidara towards himself, their shoulders just touching, and he lowered his voice further. "Good night."_

_The blond man stood there even once his friend was gone, arms dangling limply at his sides, not really looking at anything in particular, trying not to move or break the moment, and continued staring like that long after he had tottered off to bed._

He smiled to himself, remembering how he hadn't gotten any sleep at all that night, as he had been lying in bed, awake, thinking.

Just thinking.

Then again, he hadn't gotten much sleep for a while.

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You want I should go on? Yes? No? Die, you horrible worm of an author? _Say_ something, damn you! shakes fist


	2. Daydreaming

No Sleep Day No Sleep Day

_Insert generic disclaimer here._

Summary: Everyone's tired today, but not for the same reasons. Pein may have had to fight some burly idiot, but Deidara didn't get any sleep, and it's getting to him. Zetsu, on the other hand, is actually complacent. Gasp! Get a medic!

**Zetsu-Yin, **Zetsu-Yang.

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Pein hated it when he missed coffee.

He wavered slightly on his feet, waiting for Deidara to take the first step forward and bring the annoying captive inside, although he had his doubts about the stability of the ancient shack, if it would hold up at all.

Trying not to let him see, Pein glanced over at the blonde. The shorter man was biting his lip, looking concerned, miles away. He looked up again and sighed, eyes hooded. The Leader's eyes widened almost imperceptibly when Zetsu reached forward and ruffled the hair of the Iwa muke-nin. So as not to be caught, he looked away quickly, breath catching in his throat.

"What the—"

"**It's okay, Deidara**. Just quit complaining, all right?"

What just happened? Pein almost forgot where he was and turned his head to face Zetsu. Was he all right? The only visible gesture of confusion was when he blinked, twice, almost like a small child. In some ways, he still was.

Still waiting to go inside but not willing to give in first, he looked forwards again, not seeing, thinking. Absently, he wondered why Deidara had decided to come. It didn't seem like the sort of thing that would interest him, and there wasn't anything particularly important that was happening, so why did he come?

Blackmail, maybe?

And what was _taking_ him so long?

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Chipmunks.

….

Driveway.

Car.

Pein. Pein's coffee. _Now_ I regret spilling it. But it was so _funny_…

Eep, a reader.

Get the hell outta my mind, heathen.

Uh, cream… puffs…

Sunscreen, cold hair, carrots… socks, knitting needles, red. _Ack!_

String… string man. Kakuzu.. black, blackmail, pain in the ass… Oops, wrong direction.

"What the—"

"**It's okay, Deidara**. Just quit complaining, all right?"

Is he thinking about _that_? Does he remember how I said that… that I _lo_- argh, not again!

A, B, C, D, E, F, G…

Why are you still here?!

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P…

Stupid… this is so stupid…

Q, R, S. T, U, V. W, X. Y. Z.

Now I know my ABC's!

Next time won't you sing with me?

Ha, take that. You're not getting anything out of me! It's my brain, dammit.

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_Our stomach is growling._

_**I told you not to eat him, you idiot. Now look what, we've got indigestion…**_

_I was hungry!_

_**You're always hungry.**_

…_._

… _What's taking Deidara so long, anyway?_

_**You know… I think he's daydreaming.**_

_Ugh, figures._

Zetsu reached up with his right arm and messed up Deidara's hair. As expected, he turned right around, the funniest look on his face.

"What the—"

"**It's okay, Deidara**. Just quit complaining, all right?"

The blonde blushed, looking down. Zetsu would have smiled if he wasn't so tired, however weird that may seem. Even he had these urges, but it took a lesser… well, not man, uh.. person… to succumb to them.

Like Tobi, for example.

Now that kid… Zetsu rolled his eyes. There was something about him that made him lose himself. It was a major weakness, but he couldn't bring himself to let go of it. The whole thing was just a major hassle.

Was he feeling..? N-no. He wasn't. He… ugh.

_Oi, Deidara's moving…_

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Wow, I need sleep. I'm going to go to sleep now.

Good night.


	3. Not Listening

No Sleep Day No Sleep Day

_Insert generic disclaimer here._

Summary: Everyone's tired today, but not for the same reasons. Pein may have had to fight some burly idiot, but Deidara didn't get any sleep, and it's getting to him. Zetsu, on the other hand, is actually complacent. Gasp! Get a medic!

**Zetsu-Yin, **Zetsu-Yang.

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The door was kicked in. It crashed to the floor, splintered in the middle, and was stomped on by eight feet successively before being pulled up and shoved haphazardly back into its frame, cutting off the very small amount of moonlight that had been permitted inside, leaving the spiders in darkness once again.

Pein sneezed, and Hidan jumped, looking around guiltily, hoping nobody noticed.

Deidara screeched, hopping around, batting at his neck. Once Pein noticed, he grabbed the short-nin's head, stopping him still, arms flailing, not thinking to grab Pein's arm in his confusion, and he started shaking in fear, whimpering slightly, until the Leader pulled down the neckband of his cloak and squashed the offending spider with his thumb, too tired to make a witty remark regarding the blonde's gender and fear of spiders. Said blonde sighed in relief and Zetsu uncovered his ears gingerly.

Meanwhile, Hidan had been stalking around silently, looking through the house. He had found a big kitchen, a pantry, a hall with bedrooms, a gigantic living room, some showers, and a side room where the bodies of the mansion's previous occupants. Apparently it had been a large household, but was slaughtered by the last group of intruders to come through. He'd disposed of them, left four or five for Zetsu, and gathered the various valuables and weapons as well as useful materials (and several heads of long hair, which he shoved into his bag to use later, marveling at the variety of colors, giggling quietly to himself in his glee) and went back to the other three, who were just starting to look for him.

"Oi, Leader-sama."

He looked up. "Nani?"

"The houseowners were already dead. I got all their stuff off of them and disposed of the bodies. I left five for Zetsu-" (he nodded in thanks) "-and there's lots of supplies here. I vote we stay here."

Pein shrugged. "Eh, why not. However, do they have some sort of prison?"

Hidan's grin widened. "No, but they have a monkey cage…"

Deidara blinked. "A _monkey_?!"

The white-haired man made a vague gesture to indicate his ambiguity on the subject.

"I'm hungry, let's go." They trooped into the main kitchen, dumping the snoring princess in the uninhabited cage (why did Hidan know it was a monkey?) and locking it on the way, and raided the well-stocked kitchen. Deidara opened the cabinets to find cereal ("Fruit Loops! My _favorite!_" cried Pein) and Hidan opened the refrierator, pulling out Mountain Dew and beer, along with some Starbucks Frappuccinos. The orange haired nin moaned into his coffee as audible _scrunch_-ing came from the adjoining room. Deidara did his best to ignore it, yawning, and licked his popsicle. While this was a rather strange thing to eat at approximately four in the morning, he almost never got them. He continued to suck on it, zoning out, not noticing Hidan watching him out of the corner of his eye, face bright red. He made a strangled noise and snapped Deidara out of his reverie, who finally saw the blushing and smiled.

"You too, huh?" Hidan whipped his face around to look at Deidara, who was watching him, blushing slightly himself. He looked down and to the side, shrugging.

"Yeah, well… You got a problem with it?" grumbled Hidan, a little nervous. The blonde, who was about the same height as himself (i.e. rather short) shook his head, closing his eyes. "It's been a slow year." He agreed, chuckling to himself. _If only you knew, blondie._

Zetsu trudged in, wiping his mouth. "**Ugh, that was nasty. Three days old.. **Well, it's not like _we_ got here fast enough to eat them fresh. **Good point.** Anyway, I'm going to bed. **Goodnight. Try to keep the noise down.**" Hidan smirked and Deidara almost choked, while Pein nodded, not looking up from the newspaper he had salvaged from the kitchen counter. "Good night, Zetsu."

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Five minutes later, the plant-man was back, head and shell sticking up from the tiled floor. "Uh, bad news…"

Pein sighed. "What?"

"There are only two bedrooms. **No way am I sharing.**"

The Leader's eyes twinkled mischeviously, and he leaned back in his chair, balancing it on two legs. "I'm Leader. Plus, I have a girlfriend-" all three other men twitched and blushed hotly in sync, making Pein smile wider, "-so _you_ have to share."

Deidara groaned, Hidan hmph-ed, and Zetsu looked up at the others, eyes half-closed. "**Meh. So much for that idea. **I told you he'd call the extra… **Yeah, but at least it was worth a try. Now I'll **_**never**_** get to sleep.**"

Pein chuckled dryly. "Y'all have fun. I'm going to _my_ room," he gloated. Hidan shot him a glare, and stomped up the stairs, Deidara following close behind.

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Once in the room, door closed, Hidan turned to face Deidara, who was in the middle of the room, watching him. He took a deep breath. "Look, blondie, I--"

Deidara cut him off by planting his lips on the others', effectively silencing him, and grabbed his wrists, holding them above the religious-nin's head. Hidan moaned softly into the kiss, and broke off, panting. "Shut up," whispered the blonde, looking straight into the other man's eyes.

The slightly taller man, surprised, just looked at him for a moment, before turning his head to the side to escape the intensity. "You--" he started, then broke off, unsure of what to say. Deidara buried his face in Hidan's neck, letting go of his wrists. "Are you mad?" he whispered again, almost afraid of what he might say.

"Of course not…" the elder muttered into his hair, reaching around to his front, taking off the younger's cloak, slipping it off his shoulders, pulling the smaller man into himself, gently, holding him. "Never."

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A/N: Aw, so sweet… more next time, ne? No time skip, though. I want to keep them shorter so that I can post more often. How was this chapter? You know, I think I'll write the next one right now.. hehe, so fun!

Review, or else I can't tell if you want the next one!

Trust me, you want it.


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